In my house, it’s labeled “Mommy Radar.” I’ve also heard it called intuition, body language fluency, or BS detector. It comes from years of being tuned in to the emotions and subtleties of my kids. It was heightened and honed during the crisis years. That time may have also skewed it toward hyper-sensitivity/suspicion. It is that exquisitely uncomfortable sense that something is not right, more is happening than meets the eye, or deception is taking place.

I really hate it.

Of course, Mommy Radar helps protect my kids when they need a parent to step in. But now they are 21 and 18; their choices are more their own. So are the consequences- terrifying thought. The clanging alarms of Mommy Radar can’t often alert me to danger I can circumvent anyore. Instead, they prompt me to have yet another conversation advising caution, common sense, wisdom.

I really hate that.

I never thought I’d wish for the days when a child collecting sticks in the yard made me pause and check the fire pit area. I didn’t think I’d miss a too quiet house and looking for the kid who was sneaking extra cartoons, TV on mute. These days Mommy Radar is messing with me. It keeps turning the dial I try to tune to Jesus and zeroing in on the dramas and upheavals of the young men living in my house this summer.

I really… Well, you know.

So I have introduced a new spiritual discipline to my life: the practice of holy detachment. Taught by Al-Anon and other support groups, detachment allows a person to have a healthy emotional life apart from the unhealthy or harmful behaviors of a loved one.

My idea of holy detachment extends that health into the realm of my spirit. It is detachment which seeks to practice the unconditional love of God. Based on an eternal perspective, holy detachment protects a core where my life is in God alone. It is a trusting surrender of the ones I love to the wisdom and power of God.

Are you wound up tight in the crises, dramas, and alarms of people you love? How have you learned to practice holy detachment? Share your experience in the comments and let’s support each other.