Tightness in the breathing muscles. Aching in a clenched jaw. Overflow from eyes. Struggle to enjoy beauty or happy moments. These are some of the signs that an intentional practice of holy detachment is needed once again.
To review, detachment allows a person to have a healthy emotional life apart from the unhealthy or harmful behaviors of a loved one. Holy detachment extends that health into the realm of the spirit. It is detachment which seeks to practice the unconditional love of God. Based on an eternal perspective, holy detachment protects a core where my life is in God alone. It is a trusting surrender of the ones I love to the wisdom and power of God.
The problem is, sometimes it feels safer to cling to the worry. Detaching can feel like a step out into the cold unknown. Worry deceives us into investing in its false real estate by telling us we get something out of it- control. Detachment accepts our complete lack of control and we get scared that we will be without shelter when the storm intensifies.
But when we seek to practice holy detachment, we are running to the only real safety: the arms of God. Friend, if you are trying to find a place of security for your heart and soul, while trying to love someone else with God’s love, then I pray you will find help in these words.
“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel Will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; The LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night. The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever.”
Psalms 121:1-8
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe.”
Proverbs 18:10
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!””
Psalms 91:1-2
Wow, Kirsten, you have said it so well. I know so many parents that their kids are struggling with addictions in particular and how hard it is to detach and what that even looks like. Thank you for your wisdom and insight. I don’t know that I have heard a more compelling and hope filled message as you shared at our Women’s luncheon at Crossroads Community. I love reading your blog
Thank you for your encouraging words, Shirley! Sometimes parents feel like choosing joy when a child is suffering means they don’t love their child. I pray we can urge one another to press into peace and joy.